Here's the thing. I had a great week at work last week. This week is filled with meetings, etc... the kind of week I really enjoy. So why rock the boat? Well, there is this great idea my friend and I came up with - a tour operator business. We both love to travel, we love wine, we love to eat and so do many of our friends. If our friends do, then probably a lot of other people do to0. It is hard to know where to go to experience the best when you go on vacation. So, if we could put it all together for others it could be great. When I think about it and talk about it I get really excited. BUT... I have a great gig right now. I make a good living.
I remember feeling exactly this way when I was about to graduate from college. What I really wanted to do was to stay at college and get my PhD. OK many of us wanted to stay in college, but for me I felt like I knew I could be successful at getting a PhD. The idea of going out and trying to find a career was scary. Well, how do you overcome that fear? My dad isn't telling me that I need to get my ass out of college like he did back then. Maybe the right thing for my family is for me to just sit tight. Keep doing a great job at what I do now. Keep bringing in a consistent income. I mean we get to take awesome vacations, we have a nice house, cars and the girls can go to college wherever they want. And what about Ralph? Doesn't he deserve a chance to go do whatever makes him happy? He is older then me and he too has worked hard. It makes more sense for me to stay where I am and let him pursue his interests. He can do that without any concerns if I keep working and have a stable income and health insurance, etc... Perhaps, I am being selfish. I wish I knew what to do.
As, I glance back at what I have written, I can't help but think I have too many thoughts in my head and they all seem to be in competition. I need to do a little housecleaning in there.
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Why would I leave?
My current job is actually pretty great. It has headaches as does anything else, but generally I like it. I am focusing more of my attention on marketing. I like that more than day to day management. It lets me be a little more creative. I guess the only reason that I think I should consider changing is that for once in my life I would like to choose a path rather then just fall into things. If I stay in my position, I want it to be because that is what I really want to do, not just because it is easy.
I guess that is a bit selfish. So many people don't have the same options. I don't have so much financial pressure that it is critical that I make a certain dollar amount each month. It isn't that I can afford to not work at all, it is just that I have some flexibility. Maybe for the first time in my life. That is a double edged sword. I mean it is great that I can choose what comes next in my life, but it is also scary to think I can choose whatever I want to do. Bottom line is I don't know what I want. I know I don't want to fail at whatever I do. If I stay in my current job, I am not likely to fail. I have been pretty successful for the last 18 years, but do I have a passion for it? Aaagh!
I guess that is a bit selfish. So many people don't have the same options. I don't have so much financial pressure that it is critical that I make a certain dollar amount each month. It isn't that I can afford to not work at all, it is just that I have some flexibility. Maybe for the first time in my life. That is a double edged sword. I mean it is great that I can choose what comes next in my life, but it is also scary to think I can choose whatever I want to do. Bottom line is I don't know what I want. I know I don't want to fail at whatever I do. If I stay in my current job, I am not likely to fail. I have been pretty successful for the last 18 years, but do I have a passion for it? Aaagh!
Saturday, August 15, 2009
I love to throw parties
Today in the paper was a story about a woman who started a company that hosts parties for people. The idea is that the party thrower hires this company - Lady of Decorum - and they send someone out to greet your guests, get them drinks, manage all the details of the party so that the party thrower can have a great time enjoying the party. I could do that. I could be a hostess. I love parties and I have certainly thrown a few. As I think about it, however, the problem is that I love to party at parties. I love mingling with people and if someone is really interesting, I sometimes forget to move on and mingle with others for awhile. I love to eat the food and let's not forget how much I love love love to drink the wine. In thinking about it, I love being at parties, not hosting parties.
Another idea I had was opening a cupcake shop. It would not sell anything but cupcakes. There would be all different kinds and they would be pretty and so yummy. I went to one in NYC a couple of years ago and thought it was the bomb. The only thing is that I am not a very good baker. And I think it must get really hot and maybe a little boring to bake all day long. How much can you possibly make selling cupcakes? In reality, I wish someone else would open a cupcake shop just up the street from me, so that I could go buy cupcakes and help make someone else's dream a success.
There are definitely things I love to do, but how do you turn the things you love to do into a career that you feel passionate about every (or nearly) everyday. I have a friend who is in real estate and she loves it. When she talks about it her face lights up. Her husband is a CPA, he loves what he does. Who "loves" accounting? Well, he does and he is bummed that he will have to retire in 7 or 8 years (firm policy). I love a lot of things, my husband, my children, my friends, travel, wine, exercise, no not exercise - the results of exercise, eating, meeting people and learning about them. I would love to be able to do something in life that actually helps people.
My husband always tells me that retirement plans do help people - and I know its true, but it doesn't feel like I am connected to the helping. I am there in the saving phase, and lets face it, I am typically helping the business owner or the other people at the top, more than the little guy. I want to help people who really need help.
So, now my dilemna is becoming clearer. I thought it might as soon as I started writing it down. I don't have a clue about what I should do when I grow up. But, I do know, I like to throw parties.
Another idea I had was opening a cupcake shop. It would not sell anything but cupcakes. There would be all different kinds and they would be pretty and so yummy. I went to one in NYC a couple of years ago and thought it was the bomb. The only thing is that I am not a very good baker. And I think it must get really hot and maybe a little boring to bake all day long. How much can you possibly make selling cupcakes? In reality, I wish someone else would open a cupcake shop just up the street from me, so that I could go buy cupcakes and help make someone else's dream a success.
There are definitely things I love to do, but how do you turn the things you love to do into a career that you feel passionate about every (or nearly) everyday. I have a friend who is in real estate and she loves it. When she talks about it her face lights up. Her husband is a CPA, he loves what he does. Who "loves" accounting? Well, he does and he is bummed that he will have to retire in 7 or 8 years (firm policy). I love a lot of things, my husband, my children, my friends, travel, wine, exercise, no not exercise - the results of exercise, eating, meeting people and learning about them. I would love to be able to do something in life that actually helps people.
My husband always tells me that retirement plans do help people - and I know its true, but it doesn't feel like I am connected to the helping. I am there in the saving phase, and lets face it, I am typically helping the business owner or the other people at the top, more than the little guy. I want to help people who really need help.
So, now my dilemna is becoming clearer. I thought it might as soon as I started writing it down. I don't have a clue about what I should do when I grow up. But, I do know, I like to throw parties.
Friday, August 14, 2009
Day one of my attempt to map out my future.
What am I going to do when I grow up? I remember when my 4th grade teacher, Miss Fox, asked me that. I said I wanted to be a garbage man. (In those days teachers were miss not ms. and the job was garbage man, not sanitation engineer.) I didn't really want to be a garbage man, I just didn't know what I wanted to do and I knew it would get a laugh.
When it was time to go to college, I had decided that I would be a veterinarian. I enrolled in classes and took the suggested classes for that trimester, Calculus, Biology, and English 101. Calculus and biology were considered the weed out classes, and they did. I made it through one more semester before realizing I should study abnormal psychology so I could become a clinical psychologist. After my second semester in that, I started noticing that everyone in my classes was crazy. So, then I decided to go into social work. All very interesting, but I decided I didn't want to deal with peoples' problems all day. I seemed to have enough of my own. So, I graduated with a degree in English Literature. I loved getting that degree. Unfortunately it would have been better if I had gone into nursing or engineering so that when I got out of college it would be clear to me what I would do next - be an engineer or a nurse. Who ever heard of being an english literature?
OK, that was a long time ago and I am clear that no one will ever pay me to just read books, although, I still occasionally glance at the want ads, just in case. I have done a lot of things, since graduating from college and found my way into paralegal school. From there I worked in a couple law firms in one, I learned to draft retirement plans. That lead to a position in a pension administration firm. Clearly, I never dreamed of being a pension administrator, but that is where my current career started. I have been here about 18 years. I bought into the firm in 1995, married my partner in 1996, and my husband and I have worked together through it all. (Quite a feat, but that is another story.) Last October we sold our business to a national firm. We have two year contracts with our parent firm and then we will need to decide what we want to do - stay or leave. That is the reason for this blog. What should I do?
I have been an avid reader of More magazine for a couple of years. I started buying it because they were one of the only magazines that showed fashions that I thought I could actually wear, but since then I have kept my subscription for the articles. I know, it is exactly the opposite of men, they buy "their magazines" for the articles, not the pictures. Anyway, there is this feature about women who are in my age group, I am 46, who completely recreate their careers and do something they truly feel passionate about. I want that! What I have never understood is how do they get there? How do they know what to do? I have about 17 months until I have to make a decision on what to do with the rest of my life. This will be my journal of the process.
When it was time to go to college, I had decided that I would be a veterinarian. I enrolled in classes and took the suggested classes for that trimester, Calculus, Biology, and English 101. Calculus and biology were considered the weed out classes, and they did. I made it through one more semester before realizing I should study abnormal psychology so I could become a clinical psychologist. After my second semester in that, I started noticing that everyone in my classes was crazy. So, then I decided to go into social work. All very interesting, but I decided I didn't want to deal with peoples' problems all day. I seemed to have enough of my own. So, I graduated with a degree in English Literature. I loved getting that degree. Unfortunately it would have been better if I had gone into nursing or engineering so that when I got out of college it would be clear to me what I would do next - be an engineer or a nurse. Who ever heard of being an english literature?
OK, that was a long time ago and I am clear that no one will ever pay me to just read books, although, I still occasionally glance at the want ads, just in case. I have done a lot of things, since graduating from college and found my way into paralegal school. From there I worked in a couple law firms in one, I learned to draft retirement plans. That lead to a position in a pension administration firm. Clearly, I never dreamed of being a pension administrator, but that is where my current career started. I have been here about 18 years. I bought into the firm in 1995, married my partner in 1996, and my husband and I have worked together through it all. (Quite a feat, but that is another story.) Last October we sold our business to a national firm. We have two year contracts with our parent firm and then we will need to decide what we want to do - stay or leave. That is the reason for this blog. What should I do?
I have been an avid reader of More magazine for a couple of years. I started buying it because they were one of the only magazines that showed fashions that I thought I could actually wear, but since then I have kept my subscription for the articles. I know, it is exactly the opposite of men, they buy "their magazines" for the articles, not the pictures. Anyway, there is this feature about women who are in my age group, I am 46, who completely recreate their careers and do something they truly feel passionate about. I want that! What I have never understood is how do they get there? How do they know what to do? I have about 17 months until I have to make a decision on what to do with the rest of my life. This will be my journal of the process.
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