Day one of my attempt to map out my future.

What am I going to do when I grow up? I remember when my 4th grade teacher, Miss Fox, asked me that. I said I wanted to be a garbage man. (In those days teachers were miss not ms. and the job was garbage man, not sanitation engineer.) I didn't really want to be a garbage man, I just didn't know what I wanted to do and I knew it would get a laugh.

When it was time to go to college, I had decided that I would be a veterinarian. I enrolled in classes and took the suggested classes for that trimester, Calculus, Biology, and English 101. Calculus and biology were considered the weed out classes, and they did. I made it through one more semester before realizing I should study abnormal psychology so I could become a clinical psychologist. After my second semester in that, I started noticing that everyone in my classes was crazy. So, then I decided to go into social work. All very interesting, but I decided I didn't want to deal with peoples' problems all day. I seemed to have enough of my own. So, I graduated with a degree in English Literature. I loved getting that degree. Unfortunately it would have been better if I had gone into nursing or engineering so that when I got out of college it would be clear to me what I would do next - be an engineer or a nurse. Who ever heard of being an english literature?

OK, that was a long time ago and I am clear that no one will ever pay me to just read books, although, I still occasionally glance at the want ads, just in case. I have done a lot of things, since graduating from college and found my way into paralegal school. From there I worked in a couple law firms in one, I learned to draft retirement plans. That lead to a position in a pension administration firm. Clearly, I never dreamed of being a pension administrator, but that is where my current career started. I have been here about 18 years. I bought into the firm in 1995, married my partner in 1996, and my husband and I have worked together through it all. (Quite a feat, but that is another story.) Last October we sold our business to a national firm. We have two year contracts with our parent firm and then we will need to decide what we want to do - stay or leave. That is the reason for this blog. What should I do?

I have been an avid reader of More magazine for a couple of years. I started buying it because they were one of the only magazines that showed fashions that I thought I could actually wear, but since then I have kept my subscription for the articles. I know, it is exactly the opposite of men, they buy "their magazines" for the articles, not the pictures. Anyway, there is this feature about women who are in my age group, I am 46, who completely recreate their careers and do something they truly feel passionate about. I want that! What I have never understood is how do they get there? How do they know what to do? I have about 17 months until I have to make a decision on what to do with the rest of my life. This will be my journal of the process.